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Lessons for Hoomans
2 dog years = 14 years worth of hooman lessons!
HENLO FRENS
My hooman has been very busy an distracted. So I thot Id take this off her bowl, sowee I mean, plate, so momma wont feel bad fur not publeeshing!
Anyhoo, I jus had me barkday! AM TWO!! WHICH MEANS… AM A FOOL-FLEDGED TERRIBLE TEENAGER SLASH DINO!!! When momma gave me my barkday cake an foods, she said sumthin like “Shelby my wish fur u is fur u to mature faster ok??” So I gave her da HUGEST side-eye EVER to say “STAHP, LINDA! I cant help my own biological development! U know am just a doggo! Also am a boi… and boi doggos mature slower than gurl doggos! Have u not learned from boi hoomans to manage ur expectations?!” Then I borked fur emphasis: “Gib my brain time an me sum treatos! Cos they help my brain develop faster yup I pawmise is tru am not making dis up to get mor treatos”1
So u might know dat momma has dis birthday tradition where she writes a barkday piece an tries to sound all PAWFOUND about lyf an stuffs. I wanna write an essay too but I only hab da brain cell for a listicle. So today I will share a list of stuffs I taught momma.
(Ok fine! She actually learned dem from Google. If u dint know, im momma’s first pupper ever. So she only learned how to take care of doggos cos of me. So technically, AM DA TRU…
